EVENT LOG: Debate Time!

[progressmods]

Who: All the candidates, debate moderators, everyone.
What: Progress City's first Mayoral Debate.
Where: Park in Aqua District.
When: 4/29.
Warnings: Mudslinging and Dumpster Fires.

[Alright, impromptu election. Got it.

Bill takes on the liberties of organizing a debate, making sure to space it out a couple days to give the candidates some time to prepare. The park in the pink district is chosen as a venue, given the relatively decent weather, and a large stage is constructed in the middle of it. There are a number of podiums set up for the candidates, a table and microphone down in front for debate moderators and those simply wanting to ask questions, and a good number of chairs for those wanting to see a living and breathing dumpster fire.

The whole thing is catered by Joffrey's, too, so at least you have free coffee to get you through the death of Progress City's sanity as we know it.]

Comments

CANDIDATES

[progressmods]

[If you're a candidate participating in the debate, feel free to throw up a top-level here taking place during the debate itself, or before/after these events.]

JERRY MANDER

[itsthecount]

[Jerry Mander is onstage, with that scoundrel Count Olaf nowhere in sight. He showed up with another song and dance which was probably too boring to mention right now, and everyone rolled their eyes at it. It's fine. He's here for mudslinging, though.]

Alriiiighhttt, friends! Your future maayyyoorrr is ready to take annnyyy and allllll questions!

[yayashton]

0/10 on the performance. Question: are you gonna raise my pay? I deserve it if I'm going to have to deal with you.

[ilovepuppies]

[Stands up

Clears throat

Places her hands behind her back solemnly]

Countolafsayswhat?

[dothebackslide]

Mr. Mander! How can I learn to be as handsome and smart as you?!

[Totally normal bearded man here.]

GHOSTAVE

[yourghosthost]

[Honestly, Ghostave just got so salty that he's running for mayor now. He has his own podium set up, and just angrily taps his fingers as the other candidates do their things.]

My first question is why are you people allowing this farce of an election to take place. We could have had a nice wine tasting festival, but instead, you people very much insist on making my afterlife a living Hell.

[yayashton]

You say that like everyone wants to be here. I happen to like working for the Mayor.

[keyofimagination]

I truly wanted to have the festival, Ghostave. But I had a malfunction last week and Bill insisted that it was a sign that I was a bad ruler.

... What are you even doing up here anyway?

[ilovepuppies]

[a salt shaker comes flying out of the audience]

"MAYOR" ROD

[keyofimagination]

[Rod is busy reading through his notes as he gets onstage, murmuring to himself as he does so. Despite his calm outwards look, he is currently screaming on the inside a little.]

I am ready to answer your questions.

PLANKTON

[andbegone]

[Honestly 50% of the reason he's here is because he told Yui, spur-of-the-moment, that he'd actually attend a debate for the sake of answering questions regardless of how much he hates answering said questions. The other 50% is because it gives him the opportunity to fight Bagheera in a public forum without it turning physical, probably, which is ideal considering Bagheera is a panther and could therefore easily kick his ass.

He has 1 (one) notecard with him for guidance, which just reads 'don't talk about your plans to eliminate Dole Whip'. He's ready.]

When do we get to answer questions about how capable we think our opponents are? Because I have strong feelings on the matter.

BELLE

[greatwidesomewhere]

[Belle is here, dressed despite her misgivings in a rather sharp-looking blue pant suit with a white pinstriped blouse underneath, but her expression is confident as she stands onstage, holding a neat little stack of notecards as she surveys both the panel of moderators and the crowd behind them.]

As a candidate, I have many promising ideas about how the city ought to be run, but first I'm ready to submit to any questions you might have.

BAGHEERA

[marryapanther]

[The panther is here, he's spent the last few days getting quizzed on aspects of human politics from a duck, and he's... probably ready to rumble.

The podium is unexpected. After observing the human candidates for a moment, Bagheera rears up on his hind legs, planting his front paws on the podium's sides. It's a little uncomfortable, but he can put up with it.

He has no notes, since he can't read English and Della- bless her- can't teach someone how to read and write within a week.

So he's obviously the best candidate in this whole charade.]

I'm ready to take questions.

PRINCESS EVIE

[evilette]

( evie may be a princess, but she's ready to be a mayor, too. she's prim and proper and polite as she stands at her podium onstage, but her cheesy grin cuts right through what might otherwise be perceived as stuck up; she can't help herself, especially when she spies her friends in the crowd. instead of her signature blue today, she's rocking a red leather jacket and a soft white dress to offset it, a little sweet and a little spice all at once, a wave of blue curls spilling down from her ponytail with her tiara perched proudly atop her head, a Bold choice by the queen of fashion. progress city deserves a style icon at its head. )

Citizens of the kingdom of Progress City — you may not know me, but given the chance, I promise I'll lead this city with nothing but fairness. I may not be a goody goody ( ahem, belle. she's got her eye on you, if only 'cause she knows what her world's version of you has done in a position of power ), but I'm not dastardly like some. ( she doesn't buy your bullshit for a second, olaf. she's (unfortunately) seen you in a state somewhere between olaf and gaston backstage and it's disturbing and this jerry mander character is nothing more than that — a character. ) I've been shaped by the things I've gone through in my life, I'm a hard worker, and I've got the political experience to back it up.

Just remember — you can't spell VOTE without E-V!

DEBATE MODERATORS

[progressmods]

[Got a question for the candidates, need to deliberate for a second, or are just here to facepalm at all of this? Go for it.]

[beakie]

[Beaker is here. He actually just walked in a little early, hoping to find the bathroom, and got pulled aside by someone claiming that he had signed up to be a debate moderator. He doesn't actually...remember doing that, but if an official-looking person said so, it must be true, right? He's been too focused on work to really remember anything he does outside of it, actually.

He shuffles his papers around, looking a little nervous. None of these candidates look terribly trustworthy. Well, besides the panther.]

Ahem. Meep meemiimeep meemoomeep, meep meemiimeep meep?

[Good luck trying to decipher that question.]

[faciliheir]

[long loud sip from half-empty smoothie]

Candidates: Will you promise the people that if you win, you won't lock away your enemies on a magically enclosed island?

[she's saying this generally but staring like uncomfortably straight at Belle.]

[billbillbill]

Candidates, can any of you count to 100.

[bill is here. he has a giant thermos filled with coffee, and it’s the size of his arm..]

[kindaruledatit]

[Wendy's actually up early today, sipping a coffee as she flips through the notebook she's been keeping for the past week. It's not especially helpful, considering there's just scribbles and doodles in it, but she tried.]

So... Candidates. [shoves the notebook back in her pocket.] If you win, what's the first thing you're going to do?

[lusito]

Dear candidates, I have some very important questions for you today. To start us off: what number am I thinking of right now.

[... Joshua is not taking this seriously at all.]

MISCELLANIOUS

[progressmods]

[Are you the poor sucker who got roped into working for Joffrey's during this? Or something else? Either way, poor you.]

Managerial Misery

[standingonmyneck]

[Someone was drinking a lot of that free coffee. Miss Non Participant in Politics had done a lot of putting her money where her mouth was in an attempt to not allow the place (that she happened to be forced to live in) to burn in flames from more than its own insipid stupidity. This meant her goal today was gathering info and making sure Belle had a solid chance by winning fair and square. But it was hard to not have a dozen headaches from listening to some of the stupid going on during the debates. She sat on a desk, with a stack of papers and a few empty cups of coffee. Her eyes looked tired. More coffee? Some water? Mockery? Support? She’s here and unfortunately in the open for any. She knew that.]

[hallotween]

[so marnie is a full half hour late to the debate because she had found some magic markers and poster board and a vision.

now that she's arrived, she's been going throughout the crowd, handing people signs-- everyone likes signs, right? nobody wants to be at a political event without a flashy sign. and she has a pretty wide variety for all tastes: "ROD SUCKS EGGS," "JERRY MANDER IS A FAKE," "PLANKTON'S WIFE DOESN'T LOVE HIM," "BELLE 199 FOR MAYOR," etc etc etc. some of them, like the "COUNT OLAF SMELLS BAD" one, have little drawings, like of count olaf with stink lines coming off of him.

she seems very proud of herself.]

[tadaishi]

[Tadashi is, unfortunately, one of the suckers from Joffrey's who got roped into working this event. Actually, he and the second-newest employee are both working so at least he doesn't have to dispense coffee by himself. There are other employees there as well, but they're just there to watch the trainwreck.

Feel free to bother him; he likely won't dump coffee on you.]

1/2

[beakie]

[...Frankly, after hearing all these candidates speak, Beaker's had enough. Half of them can't even understand the questions he's asking--he knew he should've brought some giant poster boards to write on or something.

He gets up from his chair, mumbling something about needing to grab some coffee, though he doubts anyone catches it. He walks away from the forum, grabbing a cup of coffee from a nearby table and--

Oh, is that a Dole Whip stand? He's always wanted to try one of those, but Bill's work has kind of taken up most of his time. Surely, no one will miss one moderator. He's going to go over and investigate, conveniently ducking out of view of the crowd.]