EVENT LOG: Debate Time!

[progressmods]

Who: All the candidates, debate moderators, everyone.
What: Progress City's first Mayoral Debate.
Where: Park in Aqua District.
When: 4/29.
Warnings: Mudslinging and Dumpster Fires.

[Alright, impromptu election. Got it.

Bill takes on the liberties of organizing a debate, making sure to space it out a couple days to give the candidates some time to prepare. The park in the pink district is chosen as a venue, given the relatively decent weather, and a large stage is constructed in the middle of it. There are a number of podiums set up for the candidates, a table and microphone down in front for debate moderators and those simply wanting to ask questions, and a good number of chairs for those wanting to see a living and breathing dumpster fire.

The whole thing is catered by Joffrey's, too, so at least you have free coffee to get you through the death of Progress City's sanity as we know it.]

Comments

DEBATE MODERATORS

[progressmods]

[Got a question for the candidates, need to deliberate for a second, or are just here to facepalm at all of this? Go for it.]

[beakie]

[Beaker is here. He actually just walked in a little early, hoping to find the bathroom, and got pulled aside by someone claiming that he had signed up to be a debate moderator. He doesn't actually...remember doing that, but if an official-looking person said so, it must be true, right? He's been too focused on work to really remember anything he does outside of it, actually.

He shuffles his papers around, looking a little nervous. None of these candidates look terribly trustworthy. Well, besides the panther.]

Ahem. Meep meemiimeep meemoomeep, meep meemiimeep meep?

[Good luck trying to decipher that question.]

[yourghosthost]

Hm. I would say yes, my opponents do look very unprepared in comparison. Thank you for the delightful compliment.

[He has no idea what you just said.]

[beakie]

[Beaker scratches his head. That's not what he said at all.]

No, no, meep meemiimeep meep meep meemiimeep.

[As if that made it any clearer. But he's asking about unionizing.]

[keyofimagination]

[. . .]

My apologizes, but I'm afraid I don't understand your language, sir.

[beakie]

...Meep. Meemiimeep meemoo meep meep.

[He looks desperately to someone else--anyone else. He needs an interpreter.]

[andbegone]

Yes, of course I think we should employ all the lions as security guards.

[He also has no idea what you just said.]

[beakie]

[At that, Beaker looks rather alarmed.]

MEEP! MEEP MEEMII MEEP!

[He would rather not! what the fuck is remaining neutral]

[greatwidesomewhere]

Um—

[Does everyone else truly understand this...person? She doesn't know if they're all faking it, or if she's just the only one who has no clue.]

I'm sorry, could you...repeat that?

[beakie]

[He sighs and tries again, trying to enunciate every single word.]

Meep meemiimeep meemoomeep, meep meemiimeep meep?

[...Something about unionizing jobs???]

[faciliheir]

[long loud sip from half-empty smoothie]

Candidates: Will you promise the people that if you win, you won't lock away your enemies on a magically enclosed island?

[she's saying this generally but staring like uncomfortably straight at Belle.]

[greatwidesomewhere]

That sounds incredibly harsh and ill-advised...

[Why does she feel like this question is aimed at her?]

I'm not interested in punishing people for no reason.

[faciliheir]

Well, it wouldn't be for no reason. They're your enemies; they obviously did... villain stuff.

[keyofimagination]

I can safely say that I wouldn't dream of doing that. I would be no better than a monster if I locked up people I don't agree with.

[... Maybe Plankton but he'll hold out if he actually does something bad.]

[faciliheir]

How are you gonna be treating villains in general? Will our rights as oppressed minorities be respected?

[evilette]

Thank you, that's an excellent question.

( imagine a million heart eyes and thumbs up emojis here, freddie. she loves and appreciates you. )

To put it simply: absolutely, one million percent no way. Doing so would likely be seen as even more evil than the alleged evil that one would supposedly be protecting others from.

( she's beaming innocently, trying not to let her gaze diverge over towards belle. )

[billbillbill]

Candidates, can any of you count to 100.

[bill is here. he has a giant thermos filled with coffee, and it’s the size of his arm..]

[keyofimagination]

Bill, you know I can count to 100.

[greatwidesomewhere]

Of course I can.

[Is that...really a qualification?]

[kindaruledatit]

[Wendy's actually up early today, sipping a coffee as she flips through the notebook she's been keeping for the past week. It's not especially helpful, considering there's just scribbles and doodles in it, but she tried.]

So... Candidates. [shoves the notebook back in her pocket.] If you win, what's the first thing you're going to do?

[greatwidesomewhere]

That's an easy one. [Belle grins confidently.] I plan to open a school, so that the children of Progress City can have a proper education. Even my tiny village had a school, so there's really no reason a place as advanced and incredible as this shouldn't have one!

[keyofimagination]

The first thing will be getting back to business to finding the root cause of everyone's presence here.

... And since it's been brought to my attention recently [At the literal worst time] I will be setting up a school so that the mortal children aren't required to work.

[lusito]

Dear candidates, I have some very important questions for you today. To start us off: what number am I thinking of right now.

[... Joshua is not taking this seriously at all.]

[greatwidesomewhere]

That can't be a serious question.

[kindaruledatit]

[Leans over, quietly sipping her coffee.]

Do you actually have a number in mind?