EVENT LOG: Debate Time!

[progressmods]

Who: All the candidates, debate moderators, everyone.
What: Progress City's first Mayoral Debate.
Where: Park in Aqua District.
When: 4/29.
Warnings: Mudslinging and Dumpster Fires.

[Alright, impromptu election. Got it.

Bill takes on the liberties of organizing a debate, making sure to space it out a couple days to give the candidates some time to prepare. The park in the pink district is chosen as a venue, given the relatively decent weather, and a large stage is constructed in the middle of it. There are a number of podiums set up for the candidates, a table and microphone down in front for debate moderators and those simply wanting to ask questions, and a good number of chairs for those wanting to see a living and breathing dumpster fire.

The whole thing is catered by Joffrey's, too, so at least you have free coffee to get you through the death of Progress City's sanity as we know it.]

Comments

[dothebackslide]

[Dan Backslide, coward bully cad and thief leans against the desk, peering at her work]

WHATCHA DOING?

[standingonmyneck]

[...Oh no. Oooohhhh no. She looked right at Dan with her blank expression. No emotion. No emotion...none.]

I'm filing for my next bionic limb.

[dothebackslide]

[Man there are no good heroes to bounce comedy off of. This town sucks.

He puffs a cigar in her face, trying to think of a good zinger.]

BETTER MAKE SURE YOU GET THE RIGHT KIND OF LIMB. ONE MISTAKE AND FILLING AND YOU COULD HAVE TWO LEFT FEET!

ALTHOUGH MAYBE IF YOU'RE LUCKY, YOU'LL BE ALL RIGHT.

[standingonmyneck]

[OH MY GOD. Daria coughed a bit at that. Of all of the rude stuff she had to deal with, second hand smoke. He was already too close in her face to ignore him. She broke her pact and spoke to him too.]

Golly, you're right. I'll make sure I get a whole lot of extras then. I'll just use what's left for my robot army.

[dothebackslide]

ROBOTS YOU SAY! I DON'T SUPPOSE YOU'RE PLANNING ON USING THOSE TO STAGE A COUP AGAINST THE WINNER HMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM???????

oh my god bless u

[standingonmyneck]

[...Wow, unbelievable. Does he know sarcasm? At all? Maybe instead of having this charade go on further, she should just come clean.]

If I actually was doing any of that, they'd just scratch my back.

[Here dude, it was just political debate notes.]

I was joking.

[dothebackslide]

[He blinks in absolute, genuine, befuddlement.]

Wait, hold on. [Pressing hands to forehead.] Hold on. Where was the slapstick? The passion?

[standingonmyneck]

[...]

I regret this, but please explain.

i'm very sorry for all of this

[dothebackslide]

[He tosses his cigar aside, pulls up a chair, and stick a pipe in his mouth, taking a moment to light that as well.]

Well you see, humor, by its very nature, is the attempt to provoke laughter in the viewer. This can be accomplished many ways, of course, through cultural references or absurdist sights or tapping into the frustrations and ideas of that particular cultural moment. As time passes, of course, those cultural references become less and less relevant to the modern era. Toons aplenty have gotten lost in the mass of media, forgotten as they've lost relevance.

But you know what always stands the test of time? Classic slapstick. The image of someone suffering, either physically or even verbally, in an battle of wits between two bizarre, emotional forces. That never fails to grip an audience, never fails to entertain, never fails to prosper laughter, the most valuable gift all of us are given. Losing that would be criminal!

Therefore, constant shitposting and a general loud, surreal, absurdity are, in many ways, one of the few ways to maintain the accurate feeling and intention of myself in the face of the modern day. Go full emotion, full surrealism, go 110% in wacky antics. Otherwise, I would be forced be spout off references to 1940s properties that no one around me would properly understand. And really, the person I am, at my core, is a man of modern mad-cap hilarity. If I defied that, I wouldn’t be true to myself.

Yet you seem to employing some sort of passionless, dry wise-cracking. If I may be so bold, I can't imagine this is going to sustain a toon in the long-run. Its not really the most ideal career move.

[Puff puff.]

i'm dying i can't

[standingonmyneck]

[.....................There's too much. This is too much. Daria was ticked off but like...she didn't even know what to react to, if she should react at all. So much nonsense in a given few paragraphs. It was just. Too much.]

I'm aware of old cartoon logic. Usually the people on them get maimed and do it all over again seconds later. I can't say I ever related to that life.

[She had no idea what to say. Or how to send out the attack drones on it. She wanted an escape pod.]

[dothebackslide]

Not with that attitude, you ca-

...you cALLING ME OLD?!

[standingonmyneck]

Old fashioned, maybe. But you said so yourself there’s been a place for your “style” since the 1940’s. It obviously has value from where you’re from.

[Maybe old in age too, but she had no clue how old he actually was. Honestly, she was just trying to get out of this intact. As much as she just wanted to tell him off, that might make this worse. There’s politics involved here. Better be civil. Or maybe this whole thing had broken her will to snark him away, maybe some of that. She remembered her conversation with one of the Matsuno brothers. Cartoon logic. As far as she knew, his home lived on it.]

If you’re so passionate about your toon logic, maybe you could do well to educate like you just did right now in front of me.

[dothebackslide]

[He twirls his pipe around thoughtfully.]

That kinda sounds like... work.

[standingonmyneck]

You're working pretty hard right now.

[In many ways, actually. Including being irritating.]

[dothebackslide]

Only when its funny.