A Hardly Working Jungle Cat

[andbegone]

Who: Bagheera Plankton and you
What: Cleverly evading the angry mobs
Where: The park, Magic Kingdom
When: 5/11



A - Park in the Aqua District

[Seeing Bagheera(?) around the park probably isn't so surprising at this point- he's a cat, he climbs trees. That's what they're supposed to do, right? So it might be easy to dismiss his presence there today.

It might be, but it likely isn't, because he's very clearly Not In A Tree as he should be. But that isn't for lack of trying.

He backs up nearly all the way across the park, crouching down with his sights aimed at one tree in particular. A sturdy one with relatively low-hanging branches- it should be no problem. But even with a running start and a leap into using his claws to scramble up it, Bagheera(???) hardly gets three feet off the ground before falling off backwards. He doesn't even land on his feet, what kind of shitty cat is he.

He growls in frustration as soon as he's up, less hurt and more annoyed.]

How does he even get up there?

[Okay, whatever, one more time- he manages to use the running start to claw his way a whole five feet or so up the tree trunk before falling this time, at least, but then he's immediately back to pacing circles around the tree angrily.]

B - Magic Kingdom

[If you happen to pass anywhere in the general vicinity of Aloha Isle, you might notice a very conspicuous trail of dropped Dole Whips lying across the ground. Following them leads to... Bagheera(?????), lying across one of the tables and very awkwardly attempting to eat Dole Whip from a cup as best he can. Who knows how he got it and managed to carry it over there.

(He won't admit to it, but the dropped trail is absolutely from previous attempts to carry it. He's bad at being a panther, cut him some slack.)

Anyways, he looks pretty displeased that he's even stooping to try one in the first place, and more displeased with the fact that he doesn't actually... hate it that much.

Maybe it was more just the principle of having to sell the second-best thing while Krabs got to sell these. And maybe the whole Dole Whip grudge thing doesn't matter now... but that's not going to stop him from muttering crossly at it.]

Still don't see the appeal.

Comments

[andbegone]

[Panther noses smell way too many scents, how is he supposed to know when it means the Real Bagheera is around? Either way, he doesn't want to remove his focus from his current task long enough to get into a proper argument with him, so he instead just fixes a curt glare in the direction of the voice before backing up to try again.]

No, I'm not quite finished.

[up again, down again. frustrated grunt.]

There's plenty of other trees, you know, you don't have to be in this one.

[marryapanther]

... [Bagheera opens one eye. It's not every day you hear your own voice thrown back at you. He's still only half awake, but he's conscious enough to realize something about this situation is off. Buuuut Bagheera needs his beauty sleep. He closes his eye and rolls over on the branch, huffing.] What on earth are you even trying to do? Scare all the birds out of the general vicinity?

[andbegone]

[You know honestly it's easier to claim that was his goal from the start than to admit that he's failing at his actual goal.]

...Yes. And I'm doing an excellent job of it. Because that's what cats do.

[marryapanther]

No, you utter fool. Why would you want to scare away potential prey like that? There's no point. [He's waking up a little bit more with each passing second, and slowly realizing just what's wrong with this situation. Good luck, Plankton.]

[andbegone]

[That gives him pause.]

What? You eat birds? That's disgusting.

[marryapanther]

... Well, what on earth do you expect a carnivore to eat? Fruit?

[andbegone]

I don't know, burgers or steak or something? The feathers probably make it all unsanitary. Eugh.

[marryapanther]

Where on earth am I supposed to find those in the jungle, you insolent little- [Oh dear, now he's done it. Bagheera is finally awake enough to stick his head down to peer through the branches, and he chokes on his words in shock. It takes a moment for Bagheera to recover from seeing himself making a fool of himself, but once he does, the connection the Plankton is glaringly obvious to him. Whether or not Plankton's noticed this is debatable.]

[andbegone]

Well, maybe you need to rally behind the concept of better food chains in the jungle. I mean, really, if there isn't some sort of joint within at least a mile then clearly--

[He at last seems to notice the sudden pause and glances back upwards at the tree, making eye contact and immediately freezing right where he is, right in the middle of backing up for another run at the tree.

He kind of just stares at Bagheera for a couple more seconds before slowly lowering himself to a sitting position, like if he acts that he wasn't doing anything at all maybe he'll believe it.]

What?

[marryapanther]

. . . [The shock slowly fades into something between rage and amusement.] You. What... What have you been doing in my body? [You better not have ruined what little social standing he has in this place]

[andbegone]

[He scoffs.]

What, you really think I can walk around this city without a disguise on these days?

[But he doesn't really want to give Bagheera of all people the idea that he's being hunted down by a mob or anything when actually he's the best leader the world has ever seen. Galaxy, even. It's the people who are wrong.]

It turns out fools don't take kindly to being lead by someone competent for a change.

[Anyways he's not admitting that he picked Bagheera specifically because he wants to prove he can figure out how to be a panther.]

[marryapanther]

And whose fault is that? Certainly not mine. I rallied against you being given any sort of power, and I'm glad you're forced to see some repercussions for your own foolishness. [His tail lashes, and his teeth bare for a moment.] But not at my own expense! [After this abrupt outburst, Bagheera snorts, looking away for a moment. After a moment of wallowing in his own irritation, something occurs to him, and he grins lopsidedly down at Plankton.] Though I must say, it is wonderful to see how absurdly pathetic you are at pretending to be me. "Trying to scare the birds off", indeed.

[andbegone]

My foolishness? Don't be ridiculous. Give it a week and then we'll see who's foolish.

[If he's even remotely surprised by the outburst, he doesn't show it and instead circles back around to get another running start at the tree.]

Admit it, you're impressed with how well I'm doing. One month and I've already almost mastered this whole cat thing. Your little tree climbing act is the last thing I have to perfect.

[None of this is true.]

[marryapanther]

You may talk a big game, but you can still barely hold your paws correctly. I can see that much from up here.

[A pause. Bagheera grins.]

If you're so sure of yourself, then show me just how good you are. If you truly are a "master" at desperately trying to follow in my footsteps, that is.

[andbegone]

Maybe I don't want to hold them your way. This way is better.

[He doesn't actually know if there's a correct way to hold paws and if he's doing it correctly, but he's just going to keep digging this grave regardless. He's so caught up in his slightly-exaggerated bragging that he just scoffs at the suggestion.]

What, show you? Please. I'd just be wasting my time and yours.

[marryapanther]

Your way makes you look like you have thorns in every one of your pawpads. Or like you're an overgrown cub who never learned how to walk until today.

And you're right, you would be wasting our time, because I already know you're full of bluff with nothing to show for it. And you saying that means you agree with me, whether you admit it or not.