Plank4Prez

[andbegone]

Who: Plankton, Richard, and whoever attends
What: Election Rally
Where: Transport Center
When: 4/23
Warnings: plankton constitutes a warning just by existing


[So it's very possible that, following the whole fiasco yesterday, you started noticing signs tacked up around Vista Way. And replacing the maps in every information booth in the parks. And slipped under your doorway. And just littered around the ground.

Point is, they're everywhere, and while whoever made them clearly lacks any sort of artistic ability, the point still comes across pretty clearly:

ELECTION RALLY: COME SUPPORT YOUR NEW FUTURE MAYOR!!!!!!!!!!!

4/23 IN THE TRANSPORT CENTER
WE WON'T EVEN MAKE YOU PAY FOR THE PINS OR ANYTHING

#PLANKTON OR PERISH

Even if you managed to ignore all the posters and just happened to pass through the Transport Center by sheer chance, it's going to be very difficult to ignore... whatever's going on in the center of the area.

Plankton's dragged crates away from who-knows-where to make some sort of stand, because he doesn't have the time to put together any actual materials, he has to get started on this campaign thing pronto. He doesn't have a real megaphone, either, but he's got a rolled up poster he's shouting into from where he's standing atop like three crates stacked on top of one another. Regardless of if there's a crowd of people around him by the time you show up or if it's just Richard, his campaign manager and virtually sole supporter, either way he acts as though he's got the undivided attention of the whole city.]

People, people, please. I know you have endless questions about my spectacular new policy ideas, but I can only handle so many questions at a time. Believe me, I greatly value your opinion and want to hear each and every word from all of you.

[He doesn't sound sincere in the slightest, but he's got the ham part of the whole thing down perfectly.]

Comments

[yourghosthost]

[Resident Progress City party planner, Ghostave, is incredibly excited about the upcoming food and wine festival. Possibly because he himself is excited about the food and wine. He’s planning on taking the monorail from his home to the mayor’s office and then this bullshit is keeping him from getting there on time.]

You can’t be serious.

[andbegone]

[He lowers his megaphone slightly to squint at Ghostave for a second or two. Of course, he doesn't want to discourage possible voters, but also he doesn't appreciate his Really Great Rally being called into question.]

What part of this looks like I'm not serious?

[yourghosthost]

Rod is the mayor. Your holding a rally is making you look inempt.

[He doesn’t...realize this is a thing yet. To him, Sheldon just looks like some sort of wacko.]

[avalion]

[She's just turned up to glare at both Plankton and Richard. At the same time.]

[andbegone]

[Of course, he can't blame him-- not every candidate has the vision and initiative to start campaign rallies on the very next day. So of course not everyone has received the news yet, but that's fine. It's better this way.]

Rod was the mayor. He agreed we could vote in a new one, and I'm clearly in the running. In the lead, actually. I'm winning the race already.

[andbegone]

[Takes a poster from the crate next to him.

Wads it up.

Tosses it at her.]

[yourghosthost]

...Rod is a moron. He agreed that I could run my Food and Wine Festival, and now he goes and starts political drama.

[You bet he’s salty. This is really gonna get him going.]

[andbegone]

I agree completely. You know, if I was the mayor, every day would be a food and wine festival. And there'd be absolutely no political drama. Ever.

[listen he has a Goal here and Ghostave's personal problems won't stop his campaign]

[yourghosthost]

...serpents and spiders, are you attempting to pander to me.

[drawntodream]

[Yui is here, but it's fairly visible that she's not a hundred percent sold on the candidate yet. She's trying to be open minded, but after her last chat with him, Yui has Moderate Concerns about Plankton and what he could get up to as mayor of Progress City, let alone if the teleporters came back up in that time. So she's standing and watching in the Transport Center as he talks, largely silent. She is giving him the benefit of the doubt enough that she's sketching a portrait in case he needs campaign branding, though.

When she's not drawing, though, her gaze is probably a little piercing. Eventually she speaks up, waiting for a lull in the conversation:]

What are your goals in regard to those of us stranded here? Would you integrate us into the rest of Progress City's citizens, or are we going to be treated as a separate group?

[andbegone]

Am I?

[he is.]

[not_over_yet]

[ The Transport Center doesn't exactly have high security. In particular, the controls for its PA system are neither well-guarded nor guarded against tiny trespassers.

Soooo there's an unscheduled announcement happening suddenly. ]

* - Candidate Plankton, is it true you once scattered a large quantity of meatballs across the floor and then proceeded to eat them off of it, despite being at a stranger's dinner party and despite repeated pleas for you to desist? - *

[ ...That ends with some scuffling sounds, abruptly cut off, which strongly suggest this announcement wasn't official. ]

[avalion]

[It just kind of...bounces off her face.]

I have serious doubts whether you're truly fit to lead the people.

[andbegone]

Oh, really? And what exactly are those doubts? Because I don't think you could do any better than I could.

[andbegone]

[jesus CHRIST

y'know there's not a lot he can do to actually talk over the announcement as it's finishing up but. he sure does try.]

NO. NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE. THAT NEVER HAPPENED.

[and then just shrugs in the general direction of the nearest speaker.]

Thing must be broken. No idea what they're talking about, really. [he shakes his head.] The lengths someone will go to just to defame a wildly popular candidate.

[andbegone]

Of course I'd integrate us into the rest of the citizens.

[You know, despite all his bullshit regarding literally every other aspect of his campaign, he has a real opinion on this topic at least.]

We're stuck here, and I'm not going to hang around as some sort of second-class citizen when I don't even have a choice about leaving in the first place. I mean, we already have to work, don't we?

[dothebackslide]

[In the middle of one of Plankton’s speeches, there’s a strange sound in the distance. A… horn of some kind.

...Are those trumpets?]

[andbegone]

[just kill him now]

[dothebackslide]

[I mean, it doesn't sound like a funeral march as the trumpets get louder and closer. In fact, the tune is becoming more clear as it approaches.]

[yourghosthost]

[Ghostave checks the schedule on his clipboard.]

The gay pride parade wasn’t scheduled to begin for a few months.

[dothebackslide]

[And then, like a tank over the horizon, it appears. A large monstrocity driving down the street. There’s a green man in carnival barker outfit standing on the edge of a large parade float, driving down the street towards the Transport Center. It towers over the crowd but there’s a giant curtain covering most of it. One thing is discernible at least: a shadow of a figure and a podium behind the curtain.

The green Carnival Barker twirls his cane around, waggling his eyebrows smugly as swings his gaze around the crowd.]

MAKE WAY!
FOR THE JERRY!
SAY HEY!
TO THE JERRY!

[The “Barker” leaps down from his position on the float, skipping among the people with wild energy.]
HEY! Clear the way, in the old town hall!
HEY YOU! Let us through!
He’s heard the call- oh!
Come, be the first in the park to meet his eyyyyeeeee!

Make way! Here he comes!
Ring bells! Bang the drums!
Are you gonna love this guy!

[The curtains fall to the ground to reveal the entirety of the parade float, a huge spectacle of red, white, and blue.The float seems to have been some kind of… dog thing? Its been painted painted over in the image of a new person, this mysterious figure, this enigmatic man of wonder, standing in the center of it all.]

[ilovepuppies]

[suddenly Star bursts out of the bushes, furiously waving salt shakers at Ghostave]

[itsthecount]

[Whoever this man is? He’s certainly unfamiliar to you. He’s dressed rather conservatively, in a dark suit with a lapel covered in American a flag pins. A pair of dark dress shoes obscure his American Flag pattern socks, and he has two extremely thick made-up eyebrows. His hairline is receding, a prominent ski nose, sagging jowls, and a slightly protruding jaw. As he’s unveiled, his hands are thrown into two peace signs.

He’s not a crook.]

[dothebackslide]

WOW! [The Barker falls off the float in pure astonishment at the sheer handsomeness of this Not Crook. But he bounces back up within a second, gesturing dramatically to the greatest politician ever.]

Its Jerry! Fabulous he!
Ol’ Jerry Mander!
Just reflect, who YOU should elect!
Into that office...yyyyy?

[Her grimaces briefly at the lame rhyme before recovering, swinging his cane around.]
Now try your best to stay cool
Wipe away your fear and your drool!
Then come and meet this just exceptional toooooooooooooooooool!

[As he holds the note, the Barker pulls out a baby doll wearing a “Go Mander” shirt and throws it at Jerry on the float.]

[itsthecount]

[Jerry is gonna kiss the hell outta that baby. His jowls violently shake as he does so. It gets hurtled to the side shortly thereafter.]