Mayor Rod's life is a living nightmare

[keyofimagination]

Who: Rod, Bill, and you!
What: Start of the Election Event!
Where: The Transport Center
When: The morning on 4/22
Warnings: Robotic Body horror



[It was a normal morning in Progress City, and Rod is as overworked as ever. He gets off the monorail from Magic Kingdom, barely looking up from the papers he is currently reading over. It seems like all the stress of the city and the addition stress of people randomly getting stuck in the portal is getting to him. If robots could look exhausted, Rod would be a textbook example of that right now.

But that’s almost a daily sight at this point, and something most people wouldn’t find unusual at all at this point. What is unusual is when he suddenly grabs his chest and lets out a muffled cry of pain. He takes a few more steps to try to get to his office, but stops himself as he braces himself on the wall.

You can try to see if anything’s wrong with him, but he will brush it off with an “I’m fine, I just need a moment”.

However, it becomes abundantly clear that certainly not fine when he suddenly collapses to the ground, papers flying everywhere as he does so. While this seems like a normal collapse at first but if someone looks close at him, his limbs seem strangely disjointed under his clothes.

His limbs are falling off of his body.]

Comments

[andbegone]

I volunteer.

[just. immediately.]

[computerwife]

No.

[fuck no]

[andbegone]

Karen!

[what the FUCK]

[itsthecount]

Karen!

[he doesn't even know this woman yet]

[computerwife]

....Who are you?

[itsthecount]

Count Olaf, handsome actor and well-known famous man.

[computerwife]

I don't know if handsome is a word I'd use to describe you.

[she's a lesbian olaf]

[computerwife]

What? You'd be the worst mayor ever.

[like seriously just saying]

[andbegone]

I would not. I'm a fantastic manager and that means I'd be a fantastic mayor. You have no idea what you're talking about.

[encino]

[there's a disturbance, somewhere.

from across three parks, someone knew this moment was coming. that that scheming scallywag, sheldon j plankton, would attempt to run for mayor.

so, he's prepared.

there's a growing scream.]

aaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA!

[who is this strange pirate man dashing towards the scene?

why does he have hatred in his eyes?

why is he now TACKLING PLANKTON?]

Ye ain't running for anything, you one-eyed creep! I know who ye be underneath that people disguise!

[keyofimagination]

[Oh.]

Are..̶. ͢t̵h͢e̡s̡e ͘r̡eall̵y t҉h͢e͢ ͞op͝tiǫn̷s̨ w̴e̛ ̕ha͢vé ̨f͞or͠ ̷th͠e̷ n̕èw̨ may̕or?͝

[billbillbill]

...All in favor of not allowing the pirate to run.

[computerwife]

Aye.

[itsthecount]

Aye.

[dothebackslide]

Arrrrrrrr.

[keyofimagination]

Oh thaņḱ ̡W̢a̛l͢t͟ t̛h̡i̴s ̷t͡o͡w̴n̕ has͠n̡'͝t̢ l̀o͏st͟ i͏tş wits̡ ҉y͢et

̢A͜yè

[ilovepuppies]

[you.

she likes you.]

[kindaruledatit]

[huh

usually all the big surprises happen on saturday]

[faciliheir]

Maybe if we're lucky they'll all kill each other.

[tacticalespionageaction]

[Now this is entertainment.]

[andbegone]

[honestly he doesn't even really pay much attention to the screaming (it's a theme park people are supposed to scream, right) until he realizes it's getting much, much closer. by the time he actually looks around for the source and spots the pirate guy (same eyepatch!) running towards them, it's... well, it's too late for him to realize that the pirate's actually running at him, specifically.

he hits the ground like a fuckin sack of potatoes, half-dazed and half entirely confused. honestly he would've expected this from Bagheera or Krabs or... you know, one of his actual enemies, but.

he. doesn't even recognize this guy.

so he's just on his back on the ground squinting at him with an absolutely dumbfounded expression.]

Who even are you?

[encino]

Patchy the Pirate, Spongebob's Number One Fan!

[He's definitely trying to keep Plankton pinned down at this point, subverting the would-be-mayoral candidate from doing anything drastic.]

And because I be Spongebob's Number One Fan, I know that underneath your terribly handsome mask, yer none other than Sheldon J. Plankton!

[So, from his position, he's going to tug at Plankton's face, attempting to expose the tiny one-celled organism controlling him from underneath.]

This be some high quality rubber, Plankton, but it won't fool me!

[andbegone]

What? Spongebob's?

[why the fuck would anyone be a fan of Spongebob and more importantly where's his number one fan

but more importantly, he's regained enough of the sense that was knocked out of him to at least try to shove Patchy off of him, although he can only really do so much given he's just a twunk.

the whole kicking-and-shoving thing gets much more aggressive when Patchy starts just straight-up pulling on his face, though, and he instead redirects his efforts to slapping away his hands. he's dealt with a lot of shit before but. this is new, actually, and he has no idea what the fuck is going on.]

What are you talking about, of course I'm Sheldon J. Plankton! [it's not like he ever claimed otherwise, he's been trying to make a name for himself and everything.] This is my face, I don't need to wear some stupid mask-- get off of me immediately!

[encino]

You're in that flimsy disguise! Thinkin' you can hide what you really are! Well, I got news for you, buddy - you can't hide what's inside!

[and at this point, 3-4 security guards have grabbed Patchy and are dragging him away.]

I'll get you, Plankton! You'll never be mayor as long as I be around, you'll see!

[andbegone]

[he just. sits up, watching him get dragged away in silence for a second or two before slowly standing up and straightening his eyepatch.

what the fuck just happened.

okay anyways he just turns back towards anyone else who was watching that mess, as if it just. never happened. it's fine, it's a problem he'll deal with later, he's sure. it's not like some nobody pirate is gonna stop him from winning.]

So. [he clasps his hands together.] I'm on the candidates list, then.