All The Cats Join In (or, in this case, just one)

[stinkypete]

Who: Peg-Leg Pete and you!
What: Arriving/settling into Progress City
Where: Magic Kingdom, Hollywood Studios
When: Backdated to 6/16 - 6/20, see prompts
Warnings: None at the moment!


i. in which pete feels hatred for his lifelong enemy mickey mouse (6/16)

[So this wasn't really an ideal situation to begin with. One second, he'd been looking through his mailbox for his court hearing date, the next, he had picked up this weird ticket and had been whisked away into Progress City. Every corner of this place instantly screamed at him "MICKEY MOUSE", and he absolutely hated it. His first thoughts were that this was some sort of sick joke played on him by Mickey and his friends, but the more he explored and interrogated asked people for information, the more he realized this was a land beyond the reach of Disney or Mickey.

Which is actually worse, because now he doesn't know what to do with himself. He'd been really looking forward to pummeling Mickey's face into his skull. People don't really know who he is, and aren't sufficiently intimidated by him. Yet.

Pete can be found wandering around the Magic Kingdom. If he can't punch Mickey, he may as well find something similar to Mickey here. As he walks, he seems to get more and more frustrated.]

I swear to God, if that Serling guy got rid of it, I'm gonna punch his lights out! And then, once I'm through with him, I'll make him build the statue for me to destroy!

ii. in which pete complains about the state of fake disney world (6/17 - 6/20)

[In the evenings, you might find Pete sitting in the Animation Courtyard, watching The Twilight Zone with a surly expression on his face. Next to him sits several boxes of pizza of varying fullness. Every so often, he'll take a slice and chomp down on it, muttering under his breath. He doesn't understand this stuff, and he won't try to understand it.]

Why couldn't they show good ol' fashioned toons instead of this garbage?

[For a theme park based off of Disney, there isn't much sign of the mouse around here. He's somewhat grateful for that, actually. But it'd be nice to have some cartoon showings of himself.]

Comments

[stinkypete]

[Who the heck's this guy? He looks sort of like a toon, but not any that Pete's seen before. One thing's for sure--he's one of the few people here who actually knows who Mickey Mouse is.]

You're askin' me! I've been kidnapped, trapped inside my worst enemy's...theme park look-alike, and now there ain't even no Mickey Mouse I can crush!

[Pete growls and swings at a nearby lamp post. It buckles over when his fist makes contact with the metal. Oops. Looks like someone's going to have to clean that up]

[supoorhero]

[Holy shit that's a big cat. Also holy shit he crushed that actual hunk of giant metal like it was nothing.]

Jesus, dude! [Kenny takes a step back and raises both hands in what he hopes is a peaceful gesture. Simmer down now, simmer down.] I don't think Mickey's the one who kidnapped us, calm down!

[It would really, really suck to get murdered by this guy.]

[stinkypete]

[Good thing that Disney usually limits the cartoon violence to just severe injury and not murder!] I don't care that it waren't Mickey that kidnapped me, I've been havin' a bad day and I wanna cave his skull in! Some orange carrot stick told me it was this...Serling guy. [He spits out the name like the fibers of an old celery stick that you've spent too long chewing on and would be really gross if you swallowed it.] Bet the guy just thinks this is another one of his smart lil'...whatsa called...Dusk Zone episodes. Well, I ain't havin' it!

[supoorhero]

[Literally who. You lost him.]

So go find him and tell him that yourself. Maybe he and Mickey are hiding because...because they're so afraid of you or something.

[When in doubt, bullshit your way out.]

[stinkypete]

[It's Fine. Just some ninety year old cat toon who has nothing better to do than to cause property damage and yell about the old days. Pete stops, his ear twitching as he thinks.]

You're right. Why am I wanderin' around here when I can bring my complaints where it matters--right to th' mayor's office? And I'll make sure he won't forget it.

[He grinds his fist into his hand and grins.]

Youse comin' with me. We've got a mayor to find.

[supoorhero]

[Kenny's pretty sure he's seen this type of thing before with Stan's grandpa. It must be an old person thing, and cats can be mean anyway, so this isn't just normal senile. This is Advanced Senile.]

...'kay. Cool.

[It might actually be from a distance, but then Pete had to go and say THAT.]

—Huh?! Why me??

[stinkypete]

Because youse got a good head on your shoulders. Maybe with time, you'll eventually be good enough to work for ol' Pete!

[He. Obviously hasn't picked up on the fact that Kenny was bullshitting him. Pete thumps his own chest and a sinister grin appears on his face.]

And of course, I wouldn't want the mayor dawdlin' about no bureaucratic stuff. Everyone knows the best way to get what ya want right now is by also having somethin' to negotiate with.

[And, just like that, he makes a move to grab Kenny.]

[supoorhero]

That doesn't...really sound worth it or fun, or well-planned, but o...kay.

[And he's backing away anyway, hoping that if Catguy Not-Cartman isn't smart enough to pick up on his obvious bullshitting, maybe he won't be smart enough to pick up on him preparing to run. Kenny does not like the look of that smile.

But he's not quick enough.]

What th-AAAH! Lemme go! HELP! I'M BEING BAD TOUCHED BY FAT GOOFY!

[This just went from 1 to 100 real quick.]

[stinkypete]

HEY! That's PEG-LEG PETE TO YOU! If you wanna survive with yer face intact, you better dos what I says, got it?

[how dare this child compare him to that canine hick! the nerve!]

And this is fake Disney World, youse can't stay stuff like that! Kids these days....

[Pete kind of just stuffs him under his arm like a rolled-up newspaper and starts walking off. He's gotta find the nearby monorail to City Hall pronto.]

Now, listen up. When we gets to see the Mayor, you're gonna agree with everythin' I say. If I says we gotta get more toons in the theaters, you nod and smile. If I says we wants good ol' fashioned Disney instead of the Dusk Zone $#*@, [how did he do that with his mouth] you nod and smile. If I says he's gotta start acknowledgin' the toon population, what do ya do?

[supoorhero]

Literally, who? [Looks like someone doesn't watch old cartoons.

Also, did Cartman's fursona just swear? To Pete's credit, it shuts him up for a moment if only out of sheer terror/awe. The look on Kenny's face is something to behold, or at least it would be if his face wasn't almost stuffed up Pete's armpit.]

Awww, I'll say whatever you want, just get some deodorant! [And then — deep breath —] SomefatfurrypirateistryingtokidnapandprobablykillmeandI'M. ONLY. TEN. HEEEELP!

[Of course what might be more accurately heard is a series of mmph mmph MMMMPHS because, again, armpit.]

[itsthecount]

Now hold on, boyos, what be the problem here?

[There’s a cop here speaking in an Irish Brogue. He has a pipe and a fake orange beard.]

You’re not tryin’ to sneak anything past ol’ Constable O’laf, are ya?

[stinkypete]

[Oh, crumbs. Pete skids to a halt when confronted by Constable O'laf. Almost immediately, a rather forced smile appears on Pete's face as he carefully takes Kenny out from under his arm and sort of dusts off his head. He's still got an iron grip on him, though. It's like if he was holding some sort of statue as opposed to, you know, a child.]

Ah, there ain't nothin' wrong here, Constable. Just showin' the boy around good ol' Progress City. Ain't that right, uh.... [He searches for a name, before realizing the boy never introduced himself.] ....B...Bart?

You know, there's a statue that's supposed to be 'ere that ain't, do you knows what happened to it?

[supoorhero]

Kenny!

[Look, if he's going to be a bargaining chip and potential human shield, he should at least have SOMETHING going for him. Part of him is utterly pessimistic that this new guy who looks suspiciously like the Lucky Charms leprechaun's meth addled cousin will be able to do anything super meaningful, which accounts for his utterly deadpan tone when he adds:]

He's trying to kidnap and throw me in his murder-torture-snuff dungeon because he's mad that the Mayor won't let him beat up Mickey.

[itsthecount]

Beat up Mickey? The beloved ratman?

[He gets maybe two inches from Pete’s face.]

Why wouldja wanna do dat?

[stinkypete]

[Pete leans back, trying to maintain some distance between him and O'Laf. His grin wavers just a little. Jeez, what's with this guy?]

I think the boy must've misheard me! Y'see, what I really saids was...uh...I was gonna eat that sticky. Sticky...'cus...ice cream is sticky. Yep.

[If that guy gets any closer to him, he swears that he's going to punch him.]

Now, if we'll just be on our way, officer....

[supoorhero]

[what]

And now he's trying to cover up attempted murder with ice cream. He's already broken, like, three or four different laws now. Maybe more.

[Maybe he'll get results if he keeps egging the cop on? Although, honestly, it's not as if Kenny isn't used to horrible cops who don't know how to do their jobs, so the real surprise would be if this one breaks the mold and actually does something worthwhile.]

—Dude, do not leave me with this guy.

[itsthecount]

I see. So you want to murder the mouse with ice cream! A real shame on you, I’s say.

[ Tsk tsk! Constable O’laf shakes his head, and dusts three years worth of crusted old dust off of his shoulder. ]

Why don’t ya leave this poor orphan boy with me, a true and honest cop who is not that heinous villain Count Olaf in any way?