progresscity | this is just like trading pokemon cards except deadlier

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this is just like trading pokemon cards except deadlier

Who: Beaker and whoever else wants to put up toplevels for trading and YOU
What: Trading cards! And socialization.
Where: Vista Way
When: 5/8, all day.
Warnings: None!

i

[Today, Beaker's taken the day off from his ~~personal hell~~ job to set up a bunch of stands outside in the streets of Vista Way!

...Okay, it's more like he's taken a bunch of furniture from his apartment and set them up haphazardly, but that doesn't matter. What matters is the poster board that's taped to a stout coffee table that reads "COME TRADE YOUR CARDS". The letters on the right edge of the poster are significantly smaller than the other letters, like he had to make room to squeeze in words.

He's sitting at a table, shuffling his cards around, occasionally looking up to greet people as they pass. If you'd like, you're free to trade your own cards with other people and set up shop on the couch or the rug--wow, he...practically dragged down all of his furniture onto the street, huh?]

Meemii! Meep meemoomeep meep meemii?

[Hey there! Wanna trade cards with him? He's got Fire, Genie Lamp, Mr. Toad's Wild Ride, and Astro Blaster.]

ii

[...Yeah, turns out when you bring all your furniture outside for a fun day, you have to put it back into your apartment. Thank God he only lives on the first floor, but still. It's not like he lifts, and he's having quite A Time trying to get all of this stuff through the door. Currently, he's struggling to pull the couch back into the building, but it keeps getting stuck on the doorframe. He waves at anyone who passes--]

MEEP! MEEMII MEEP?

[Mind giving him a hand?]

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[Even he doesn't know where he came swinging in from but the important thing is that he's here now and also that the sign is very self-explanatory, which is helpful when you're unobservant.

He squints at the cards for a while, weighing the merit of the idea (he never even considered trading them away previously, it seemed more like A Thing He Was Just Stuck With as most magic he's dealt with tends to be) before looking back up to Beaker, arms crossed thoughtfully.]

...Well, shoot, you're right. Guess there was more important things to worry 'bout.

[Like pointing fingers about who is and isn't a gremlin. Things like that. Either way, he tips his hat back now as a greeting.]

Name's Jedediah. Folks call me Jed. [He meanders back over to peer at the sign again.] You folks swap cards like this all the time? That some kinda big deal here, or just a hobby sorta thing?

...Jed. Meemii meep moo! [Nice to formally meet you, then! Without the gremlin stuff. He'd try and shake his hand, but...]

Meemii. Meep meemii meep meemoo, meep meemii meep. Meep...meemiimeep meep meemoo meep.

[Nah, no one's done a formal thing yet, so he thought he'd be helpful and have a day where people can just sort of chat and trade cards, if they want. And, uh, he sort of wants to get rid of his otherwise terrible and unpredictable cards.

He puts his cards down on the table and spreads them out for Jed to see.]

Meemii meep moo?

You an' me both, Laredo. Lasso's the first damn thing they've given me that's had any sorta use. Not sure why I'd even bother with the other two.

[Tripping people and enabling him to climb things, it's multi-purpose.

He steps across the cards, less for the purpose of reading them (which he could do just fine from basically anywhere else on the table) and more just to make sure he's in the center of everything because He's Gotta.]

So what all do these things do? Guessin' the fire one's pretty straightforward but that's just askin' for trouble.

[Plastic's still pretty damn susceptible to melting, even if less so than the wax folks.]

[L....Laredo???? Carrot stick he understood, but--

He ignores his confusion for a moment to explain what the cards do. Beaker still hasn't used the fire card, given how susceptible he is to being lit on fire. He points towards each of the cards in turn.]

Meemii meep meemoo meep meep. Meemiimeep meep.

[He tried out Astro Blaster this morning, and it seems to be able to make a sort of...laser blaster appear in his hand? He hasn't used it, of course, he's terrible with firearms. He'd probably shoot himself in the foot or something. Wild Ride summons a really slow car, but at least it's sturdy and will get you places. Genie Lamp...uh. It's unpredictable, probably not worth Jed's time.

Jed could probably try out any of them right now, to be honest.]

Wild Ride, huh...

[Not that a car doesn't sound useful, but a slow car doesn't sound very exciting compared to the one he's used to driving. And he isn't sure it would be the same with Oct around to act as a backseat driver, anyways. So it's more the first card that grabs his attention once he actually processes it.]

...Shoot, did you say firearms? Hell yeah!

[He bounds back over to the Astro Blaster card-- he's never tried using a laser gun before but how different can they really be-- and motions towards Beaker with one hand.]

Gimme a target, carrot stick!

Meep--meemii meep meemoo meep, meep meemiimeep....

[He starts to explain that one time he and a weird old man jumped in the wild ride to escape the one-eyed gremlins and an explosion accidentally rocked the car but didn't break it when Jed jumps back towards the Astro Blaster card. He flinches back a little, startled.]

Mmmm....meep meemii meep?

[He reluctantly points towards a nearby streetlight. Not terribly far away, and, well...they can probably replace the glass, right?]

[He squints over at it, considering. Well... someone's gonna have to pay for the damage, but it's not like that gives him enough pause to keep from stooping down to activate the card anyways, and he critically examines the gun that manifests along with it.]

What type'a gun'd you say this is? Sure as hell ain't no rifle.

[But it is close enough to a pistol, even if it doesn't seem to fire real solid bullets. Jedediah Strong Smith had used them frequently during his time, and though his memories aren't really Jed's, it feels natural to take aim regardless. Despite how rusty he feels given the issue of possessing nothing but fake memories and fake weapons in a fake body, his aim's still true enough to make the shot in an explosion of glass that hopefully doesn't hit anybody.

He examines both the damage and the firearm for a second or two in impressed silence before looking back to Beaker. It's strangely validating to be able to make use of the fake memories for once. Probably why Teddy goes around still acting like the president even though he isn't one.]

Think I want this one.

[It's a laser gun--]

Meemii meep meemii--

[His meeping in interrupted by the shattering of glass. The Muppet lets out a brief, shrill scream as he instinctively ducks underneath the coffee table. Years of working with Bunsen has taught him to take shelter whenever anything explodes. Thank God the lamppost was far enough away that no one was hit by the glass.

Cautiously, Beaker pokes his fluffy orange head out from the table and looks towards Jed. He's probably going to have to clean that up later, isn't he? Think about Bagheera and him having to step on the glass with those poor cat beans of his.]

Meemii. Meep meemiimeep meemoo meep?

[Alright, he can part with that one. What does he have to trade?]

[Jed was kind of too focused on marveling over the gun to really notice if Beaker was distressed by the shot or not, but he catches his eye when he looks over towards him and then glances back at the glass with a shrug.]

Guess I can help ya clean that up later.

[Y'know because he's so helpful when it comes to physical labor.

He pulls his own cards out of his pocket and reads them off as he lays them on the table-- they're. Small. But it's fine they probably resize when you trade them or... something... don't worry about it.]

Anyway, I got wind and the light one. Ka-chow. [He holds onto the last one, though.] Sorry, Laredo, but I ain't givin' up the lasso.

[Beaker squints at the cards that Jed puts out, scratching his head. How the heck is he supposed to use these? Actually, how is he supposed to keep track of these?

Whatever, he'll just ask Mayor...Mayor Rod later. He's the Mayor again after that whole disaster, right? Beaker carefully pokes at the wind card, tilting his head.]

Meemii meep meemoo?

[What exactly does wind do? Like...sweep up stuff that you direct it towards? He tries to pick it up between his fingers but he's having A Time and it keeps slipping between the felt.]

[Clearly they're both gonna have to talk to Mayor Rod because Jed's having a hell of a time even lifting Beaker's laser gun card off of the table. So. He instead opts to leave it there and simply stand on it instead, like it's a problem he can deal with later.]

Just sorta blows stuff away. Worked real well against those gremlin fellas-- shoulda seen how far it launched 'em.

[He just has his hands on his hips as he watches Beaker try and fail to grab the card. This. Is sad.]

[Its Fine, Everything's Fine, Beaker Just Needs To--

Oh whoops there goes the card onto the ground. This is, fine, he just needs to, um, find it. Beaker stoops down and starts searching the ground for the speck. Everything's under control. Probably.]

Meemii--

[Whatever Beaker was trying to say is promptly interrupted by a large gust of wind. Beaker is promptly knocked back into the chair he was sitting in earlier and tumbles backwards, screaming (?) loudly. After a moment, he holds up his hand, the card pinched between his thumb and forefinger. Looks like he found it.]

[Hmm. He. Probably needs help.

Fortunately getting down from high places is much easier than getting up, since he can just use the lasso card to fasten a rope to slide down. A rope that, remarkably, holds up pretty damn well against the wind-- at least enough that he can keep his grip on it until it passes and he can slide the rest of the way down.

It's a bit of a trek to book his way over towards Beaker's chair from there, but that's more or less an inconvenience he's used to. It's not enough to stop him from being incredibly judgmental over the fact that Beaker's clearly having a rougher time of... well, everything than Jed is.]

Leapin' lizards, you're havin' a whole lotta issues today.

Meep.

[Beaker slowly sits up, shaking his head to clear it. It's fine. This happens on a regular basis for him. Except usually it's accompanied by explosions and him being grievously injured. That's just how life is when you're a Muppet!

...However, he's going to spare Jed the details and just say:]

Meemii meep meemoo meep meemii. Meep meemii moo.

[He's had a streak of bad luck ever since he could remember. He's used to it.

Beaker then gestures towards the tiny card between his fingers. He'll be taking this in exchange for the Astro Blaster, if that's okay with Jed.]

[that’s rough buddy]

It’s a done deal, carrot stick.

[He sticks around nearby long enough to make sure that Beaker can actually get back up on his feet before heading back towards the table, starting another ascent up the rope and jerking his head towards the general direction of the cards still lying on the tabletop above him.]

Guess I’ll figure out some way to lug that one back to the homestead.

Meep.

[Beaker looks down at the card while putting wind in his pocket. You know, so he won't lose it later.]

Meep meemii meep meemoo?

[If he wants, Beaker can help bring back the card to Jed's place while he asks Rod about...this general situation.]

[He looks at the card for a long while before squinting at Beaker, considering.]

Hell, I'm not gonna say no if that's what suits ya. But just so we're clear I could figure somethin' out. Ain't like I actually need the assist or anything.

[everyone has to be aware how in-control he is of every situation at all times]

Guess you oughta let me know what Mister Monochrome says about the situation once you track him down.

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this is just like trading pokemon cards except deadlier

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