progresscity | A Hard Working Jungle Cat

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A Hard Working Jungle Cat

Who: Bagheera and anyone who choses to join him
What: Getting used to this new life, starting work
Where: Animal Kingdom, mostly
When: Thursday/Friday
Warnings: none at the moment!

[Bagheera had spent approximately 10 minutes in his "apartment" before abandoning it. Sure, it was nice looking, and probably made good shelter, but it was obscenely claustrophobic for him. He needed fresh air, the grass and trees- not a cramped little cave made by man. Bagheera never even liked going into the wolves' dens- this was just unbearable.

So instead, Bagheera had dedicated the last few days to exploring the trees in the area, trying to find where he'll set up his new territory. He'd spent the first couple nights in trees outside of Vista Way, in the park, outside the greenhouse... all over the place.

Bagheera tends to wake up right around the time dawn breaks. If you happen to be an early riser, you might just get a very sleepy leopard leaping down to the ground from the trees over your head. Don't worry, he missed.

On Thursday afternoon, Bagheera heads over to the Animal Kingdom. His first shift as... "security" starts tomorrow, and he wants to scope out the area. Truthfully, he's also pretty hopeful that he'll get to talk with other animals, here. After all, it is called "Animal Kingdom".

Keep your eyes peeled, and you'll find Bagheera either exploring the Safari or peering into one of the enclosures, deep in conversation:]

Really now? And you put up with this? But why?

[Later, Bagheera can be found wearing... a very ill fitting uniform, that was definitely not made for wild cats in mind. He's also got a shiny little badge! How long did it take Bagheera to get that thing on? Don't worry about it. He's here now, and he's a little surly.

He's patrolling around the Kingdom and he's got his eyes peeled and his ears sharp for anything suspicious in the slightest.So don't, like, break the law or anything, I guess. Unless you really want to.

If you happen to be a law-abiding citizen, he may approach you anyway.]

Excuse me- have you seen anything suspicious around here? Anything at all?

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[Della still hasn't actually finished training for her job. Not completely, at least. She's gotten good enough at the whole driving part, sure, but talking while driving is a lot more difficult. During actual rides she's supposedly going to be paired up with someone, to let one person drive and the other talk and all that. But luckily, she's still got today so can get some practice in doing both simultaneously-- no need to worry about disappointing the guests if there's not any guests around to disappoint. It's early enough today before the park opens that there's only a couple other new employees driving around for practice, too, so that's an added bonus.

All in all, it's pretty boring as far as practice goes-- for the most part, that is. At one point along the track as she's spieling to herself, she can't help but notice the (very obvious) panther in the middle of a bunch of lions.

There's. Definitely not supposed to be any panthers on the Safaris, is there? She doesn't think so.

Slowing the truck to a careful stop, she quickly radios any other workers, mostly for the sake of anyone who happens to be driving around this morning as well, just to give herself some distance from them (and some time to check things out)--]

Uh... animal on the road...? Going to be stuck here for a while. Sorry!

[--and then she leans forward out of one of the windows, squinting and hazarding a guess as she calls over towards the large cats.]

Bagheera?

[Bagheera had only paid slight attention to the approaching safari vehicle- the lions had already told him it was a regular occurence, and he didn't see much reason to distrust their logic. The sound of a familiar voice calling his name, however, got him to sit up quickly, and before long Bagheera weaves through the small group of lions to get a better look at her.]

Della? Good to see you again- how are you? And why are you driving... uh- [He glances back to one of the lions. After a moment, he looks back to Della.] Right, a "safari bus"?

Oh, great! I'm actually just doing training-- I, uh, work here? I'm a tour guide.

[Any other time she'd gladly gush about how much she already likes the job (when Rod said 'work' she thought it meant, you know, food service or retail or something boring, so she's beyond thrilled to get to do something like this). As it is this time, though, she's more busy being confused about. Well. Several things?

First of all, how did he even get in here (did somebody let him in?), and furthermore what he's even trying to achieve. He doesn't actually... seem to know that much about the whole point of the tours.]

What're you doing in the lion enclosure?

You work here too, then? I suppose we'll get to see each other rather regularly, then. My job is "security", apparently.

Oh, the lions and I were just discussing the goings-on in this place. Nothing too important, just thought I should get to know the locals around here, especially if I am to be guarding the place.

Security, huh? You probably would be pretty good at scaring off potential troublemakers. Guess we'll be seeing each other around more often than we thought!

[just throw an actual panther at people

But as amusing as the thought of Bagheera as a security officer is, her smile is quickly pushed out of the way by bewildered blinking. No one had ever mentioned the lions talking before, but it scans to reason that if Bagheera can talk then every other animal ought to as well. Maybe they're just shy around... animals with two legs...?]

The lions can talk? [She looks between them and Bagheera a couple of times.] ...Are they talking right now?

Hopefully, hopefully- if I'm quite honest, I'm not entirely sure what's expected of me. Am I to just wander around and hope I find someone breaking the rules?

Yes, of course they can- you...

[Bagheera stops, suddenly very confused.]

You can't hear them?

[During this whole conversation, the lions have been chatting amongst themselves about Della- her size compared to the waterfowl they're used to, her human clothing, her "hair", the fact that she's driving a safari- at least one young cub asked her mother if she could drive a bus when she's older. They haven't exactly been keeping their voices low, either.]

[She just waves a hand at that, cheerfully dismissing the concern.]

I'm sure somebody will be around to teach you eventually! Or at least answer your questions? I mean, this place is pretty well-managed, despite... well, everything. You'll do great!

[She's sure it's not complicated, anyways. Probably mostly involves tackling people who try to litter or... something. She's never paid much attention to security guards.

Della only shakes her head in confirmation at the question.]

And no, not at all! Why can I hear you but not them?

[Can't wait for Bagheera's first day of work to involve something obscenely difficult, like stopping a murder during a jewel robbery]

That's- huh. [Bagheera glances back at the lions uncertainly.] They say they always talk plenty to the safari guides, but the safari guides never respond. Tourists don't talk to them, either...

I don't know. I don't know why you can't hear them. They understand you just fine...

[Bagheera is having a bit of a crisis]

That's... kind of disappointing. And it... really doesn't make any sense.

[Try as she might, she can't figure out the thought process behind only Bagheera being able to talk when every other animal could talk to him just fine. Then again, she still doesn't fully understand why some animals are kept on a safari or in an enclosure while other animals work in said areas.

It makes her head hurt to try and map out the logic involved, so instead she focuses on. Well. Just the translation aspect. It's kind of the smaller of the two problems.]

Maybe there's some kind of translation process involved with our bands?

Perhaps? I can't imagine why only I would be allowed to communicate with the rest of you. I suppose it could be part of why they're allowed to just hang out around here and not work.

The lions say that they've been here for quite a while, and they're excited to have new friends around.

Might be something to ask the mayor about. It doesn't really seem fair, but... I guess if they're happy...?

[She doesn't know, she really just can't see the thought process involved in this decision but... things seem to be working out right now, so?]

Do they really not mind our trucks driving around here all day? I was thinking it might get annoying. And tourists can be pretty loud.

They certainly sound happy, from what they've told me- no worries, no responsibilities, free meals and around the clock care... Still, it's a little unnerving.

They find the tourists funny to watch, more than anything, and they're all accustomed to the sound of the trucks.

Oh, yes. There is a terrible man running around in an eyepatch in a green suit. His name is Sheldon. Horrible, really. He must have been orphaned.

Really, now? I've met the man myself- can't say I found him worth worrying about. Very un-intimidating and full of himself.

Don't see what being orphaned has to do with anything, though. [Said with a slight edge to his voice.]

His lack of parents gives him a lack of manners, so now, he is running around and stealing pineapple whips and such from children! A horrible man, truth be told. I think I saw him by the Pandora rides.

[listen just fuckin arrest plankton okay]

[Bagheera's like. Pretty sure this guy is lying but also. That sounds exactly like the petty kind of shit Plankton would do.]

I'll... look into it, then. Anything else?

Nnnnope. I’m just asking you to maul him.

[A man in hood and a trenchcoat is absolutely walking out of a store with dozens of t-shirts that he didn't pay for.

Its fine tho.]

[Looks at Dan]

[looks at store]

[looks at very frazzled storeowner who Very Clearly just watched Dan steal all that shit]

[Yea, no. Here comes a very large panther to block your path.]

And what exactly are you doing?

[Pulls out a cigar. Puffs in his face.]

Stuff.

[Bagheera sneezes twice, shaking his head. He's not at all used to the stench of cigarette smoke.]

Would you happen to have a receipt for all of that stuff?

[Puff puff.]

I didn't ask for one.

Then perhaps we should ask the shop owner if they can provide you a reciept? Or any proof at all that you purchased all of these?

Shouldn't be a problem at all, right?

[The man who is definitely not Dan Backslide for realsies considers this for a moment.]

Well that depends. Are you my dad?

[[bagheera voice] im gonna marry your dad

The question is so far out of left field that Bagheera pauses for a good few seconds trying to figure out how to answer. Eventually, he settles on-]

... No???

[He puffs one more time on the cigar before tossing it aside.]

Then. Like.

LATER!

[And he just keeps walking away, literally adding no more speed to his walking.]

[. . .

Bagheera's still pretty bewildered, but he sure as hell isn't letting Dan leave without question. It takes absolutely no effort for Bagheera to catch up with Dan and the two are now walking together like old friends. Except if Dan tries to run off again, Bagheera's muscles are already tensing, ready for the pounce.]

What are you even trying to do, here? You're already caught.

Uh WELL, as you SAID, you're not... my dad??? YOU CAN'T TOUCH ME???

SO LATER FUZZY KITTY CAT! LAY-TER!

[He's very happy walking at the exact same pace, blatantly not caring about Bagheera in the slightest. He waves at children walking around, whistling a tune, and generally acting like its another gorgeous day in the life of Not!Dan Backslide.]

[... Ok then, Dan, you've made your bed, time to lie in it.

Bagheera stops following and crouches down. His tail swishes gently. His muscles tense.

Dan has only wandered a few feet ahead when the entire weight of an Indian Leopard crashes down onto him. No claws are out, of course, he's not aiming to hurt, just to knock Dan to the ground and pin him there.]

It appears I am, in fact, your dad now. So kindly give up the stolen merchandise.

[His body squashes and stretches like the Loony Tune that he is, head ringing and shaking like a bell when he hits the ground. There's probably a wacky wobbly sound effect when he hits dirt because of course there is.

He blinks in utter confusion for a second.

And then he screams in Bagheera's face.] HELP! ASSAULT! I'M BEING ASSAULTED!

[Bagheera ignores the shrieking in his ears and shifts his weight so he's now just. Lying down on top of the fallen Backslide. By the way, an average Indian leopard can be up to 170lbs, but Bagheera is much larger than average. So this might be about 200lbs just kinda. Sitting on Dan here. Fun times.]

Are you quite done?

Am I done be ASSAULTED by a VILLAIN of FASCIST TENDENCIES???? I DON'T THINK SO!

Oh, good, because I wasn't planning on moving any time soon. Glad to hear you're agreeable to the situation.

[He sounds pretty sure of himself, but uh. No one actually told him what he's supposed to do if he arrests someone. So this is all Bagheera can think of to do.]

[He tries to wrestle at least an arm out or something but it isn't funny yet to suddenly be free. So he's just trapped in befuddled annoyance.

Surburban mom voice:] I'll have you know the CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!

That doesn't apply when you're not even a customer, merely a petty thief.

[Still not budging. But feel free to suddenly escape Bagheera's grasp whenever you feel the timing is right.]

[Something Bagheera is likely to see as he patrols the Animal Kingdom today:

Sheldon, with his arms full of half-melted Dole Whips (clearly stolen from the Magic Kingdom, though who knows how he snuck them onto the monorails), attempting to find the nearest animal enclosure to throw them into.

It's fine though.]

[Oh come the fuck on you mean that orphan hating guy was telling the truth? Damn.

Luckily, Bagheera decided on his first day here that taunting Plankton is the best passtime in this place. For now, he's not interrupting Plankton, just watching. Waiting for him to do something stupid.]

[It's fine he's not even doing anything, just casually walking through the Oasis Exhibits (because I'm assuming Progress City still has those) without paying much mind to anyone else in the park. Look at him. A perfectly law-abiding citizen.

Eventually, though, he stops by one of the duck exhibits, and though the pond is quite a ways away from the fence there's plenty of bushes on the other side that he can just. You know. Dump some Dole Whips into.

So that's what he's doing, just very slowly reaching his armful of Dole Whips over the fence. For law-abiding reasons.]

[Just gonna. Clamber up the nearest tree to get a good vantage point, and follow Plankton by hopping from tree to tree. Once he's absolutely sure that Plankton is, in fact, doing something stupid, he moves to the lowest branch- just a little bit above Plankton- and speaks up.]

I don't believe you're a zookeeper.

[He very visibly jumps at the sudden voice, and has to scramble to keep his grip on all the Dole Whips, looking around sharply until he glances upwards and spots Bagheera. As soon as he identifies the speaker, he scoffs with a roll of his eye, going back to the matter at hand in the most casual way possible. You know, as if he didn't just have two solid seconds of panic.]

Then you believe wrong. I am a zookeeper and you're interrupting my work. So. Why don't you get back to your job and let me do mine?

Really? Wasn't aware that you were allowed to be out of uniform. And give food that will make the animals in your care sick.

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A Hard Working Jungle Cat

safari

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law-abiding citizen

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Big Crimes

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i hate phonetagging bcause i typed a response to this two days ago and it never posted

all good!

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is it cool if bagheera Pounce im too lazy to ask on discord but i like permission first

I have no problem with this

Re: I have no problem with this

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oh crimes?

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