progresscity | [EVILGENIUSGIANTBRAIN] - LOVE IN THE LAB!!!!! A FORBIDDEN ROMANCE IN THE MAKING

Who: Pete posting an article
What: Plankton posting anonymously through Pete's new "factual" news blog.
Where: Anywhere
When: 8/20
Warning: Tabloid-esque material.

[Note: Comment away! This is more of a reactionary thing than Pete actively responding to comments, though...he might try and spin a few things anonymously.]

THE CAT'S MEOW - Because Progress City deserves the truth!

Keen-eyed reporters spotted local residents Beaker and Snake spending quite a bit of their time together at last month's party. Naturally the entire city is well aware of their GROWING CONNECTION, though no one has quite been able to confirm the rumors of it blossoming into SOMETHING MORE...
UNTIL NOW! This was more than just a casual exchange at a dinner party, a meeting between acquaintances or even a reunion between old friends....... if the confession of their attraction to one another was any indication. Reporters caught exclusive snippets of the conversation:
"You're a catch." -Snake "Snake" Lastname
"So are you! I'd kiss you right now actually if we weren't in the middle of a party! I'd marry you right now actually if we weren't in the middle of a party!!!!!!" -Beaker probably (roughly translated)
BUT WAIT!!!! These lingering glances and not-so-subtle confessions took place during a conversation regarding their PRE-EXISTING PARTNERS. Are they perhaps trying to make up for their absent loves? Trying to bounce back from the breakup that surely occurred when they were pulled into an entirely separate dimension??? Has their passion simply overpowered their loyalty?????
BUT WAIT!!!!!!!! Exclusive sources report this isn't the FIRST TIME these love-struck fools have been caught together in the act! Previous incidents include discussions HOT AND HEAVY workout sessions at the gym and a BRACING EXCHANGE while moving furniture (an intercourse, if you will)!
COULD PROGRESS CITY BE WITNESSING AN AFFAIR IN THE MAKING? IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THIS DIMENSIONS' GREATEST LOVE STORY...... OR ITS BIGGEST HEARTBREAK? IS THE CURRENT MAYOR QUALIFIED TO OFFICIATE WEDDINGS? ONLY TIME WILL TELL................