Panther in a China Shop

[marryapanther]

Who: Bagheera and whoever else joins him
What: window shopping, actual shopping, crime stopping
Where: pretty much any gift shop or knicknack store available in the city
When: mid to late June
Warnings: None!


[For the most part, Bagheera has stayed out of the way of the other citizens of Progress City. Old habits die hard, and humans that aren't his Mowgli are hard to trust.

But recently, an idea has come to mind. He has plenty of money- since he doesn't even use Vista Way's housing, and mostly just eats some of the meat available for the lions and other predators at Animal Kingdom, he barely spends it.

So for now, he prowls the shops, especially the Mall of the Future. Mostly he just gazes through the windows curiously, sometimes rearing up on his hind legs and putting his paws against the glass to get a better look.]

Hm... No, no, that's not good enough.

[If you're lucky enough, you might come across him in the middle of the aisles in one of the gift shops for Animal Kingdom, scowling at some of the toy animals.]

No, no, that's not right- the eyes are mismatched, did they even care about the finished product when they painted this? And this antelope is so top-heavy, they didn't even bother to place his weight properly on his hooves. And pythons do not have fangs, who did this?

[... And if you're particularly unlucky, you might stumble upon him while in the middle of stealing from the same shop.]

Comments

[supoorhero]

[Seriously, what is it with this place and giant cats? First that douchebag in the Magic Kingdom with the peg-leg, who Kenny will argue still looks like Goofy's fat distant cousin, now this thing. Maybe Henrietta is right and he should start carrying around a spray bottle, just in case.

Crouching gargoyle-style in full costume on the awning of the store entrance directly across from Bagheera, Kenny watches him pad around and make his comments, because of course it's a talking animal, why the hell not, and just this once he doesn't even bother trying to look like he has all the answers to what he's witnessing.]

Honestly? Probably some kid in China.

[marryapanther]

[Bagheera's ear twitches at the comment, swiveling in the direction of the voice. After a last, disdainful look at the poor excuse for a zebra he's examining, Bagheera looks over to properly acknowledge Kenny.]

What does "China" have to do with it?

[He. probably does not actually know where China is, either. Or what it is.]

[supoorhero]

A lot of toys are made there for cheap, and if they're all as bad as you're saying, maybe that's why.

[He looks over at the dolls in question with more than a bit of passing interest. Karen loves this kind of stuff. She'd probably also love the idea of being here even though it's starting to seem pretty wild and dangerous, and she'd probably REALLY love the idea of a talking to a giant cat.]

Or maybe you just have really unrealistic standards for what looks cute and what doesn't. [Clearly this is the reason for the cat's disdain.]

[marryapanther]

Cute...? No, I'm more concerned with how inaccurate they look. I've lived around most of these animals depicted, I know what they look like- some of these look so wildly incorrect it's laughable.

[He snorts, and bats a couple toys off the shelf. He'll worry about picking them back up later.]

Like this tiger. [Bagheera prods it with one paw.] What on earth have they done to it? His eyes are vacant, his stripes look terrible, tongue appears fused to the roof of the mouth, he doesn't even have any white fur.

[Next, he pokes at a bag of several toys, grimacing.] And what happened here? An adult deer with spots, everything has those vacant eyes, and the rhinoceros is bright green??